Kingscote Nighthawkers!

TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT THIS BEHAVIOUR!

These vile sub humans have been going onto land at night, and stealing things and thus disturbing the archaeological (I finally learnt how to spell it proppa) evidence that may have lain there!

And look!  Not one metal detectorist wants to dob this lot in.  I don't care that nighthawks are secretive types, and metal detectorists probably don't know who they are anyway.  I'm not interested in any of that twaddle!  Stick them all in the same boat, I say and then sink it using one of Nigel Swifts immortal buttcheeks.

Who cares if Metal detectors are also against Nighthawking?  We don't want to know the truth.  It's easier to share our bigoted, hypocritical vision, and attempt to swerve the public from the actual truth of the matter!

Sod the PAS!  Ahhhhhhhh!

Nigel Swift hides in bushes?!

Since I have infact been found out to actually BE Nigel swift, and also run the Heritage Action blog, I am disgusted to find that someone has spotted me hiding in the bushes...

I was only observing the Archaeological process!  Honestly!  I had my trousers on and everything!

Anyway, how dare you!  Do you know who I am? I can sit in any bush I like.

Especially those really warm ones outside schools.

Why won't FLOS respond to Paul Barford!?

I DEMAND a explanation!  *stamps feet*

This is disgusting behaviour!  Do they not know who I am!?  I Know Donna Yates and Nigel Swift!  I'll have them all burnt for treason for this!

When I send an email, I absolutely deem myself important enough to warrant a immediate response.  Are they too stupid to realise this truth?  The FLOS (Finds Liaison officers) haven't responded to my mails for days now.

Take a good look at this behaviour!  For this is what the public are wasting our (Not mine - I live in Poland) money on.

Heritage action & Paul Barford

Uh oh.  The cats out of the bag.

It's long been known that I love to create multiple aliases online.  This gives me the absolute opportunity to dish out Archeo-punishment in multiple places, at multiple times!  I'm a man one man army, me, and I told you that you should keep an eye on Archeology man, didn't I?  It's not my fault that you don't have the intelligence to understand my simple commands.

Fools!

However, it seems that someone has clocked onto the fact that Nigel Swift of Heritage action, and I are in actual fact the same person.  Damn.  There's no way I can get out of this one, either.  It's watertight.

Ummm....

I'm going to have to give Donna yates a ring I think.  She'll know what to do.  She's the Queen of multiple identities.

Some of you may think it's cowardly that I create dozens of identities, create blogs, and spy on forums!  Pah!  We wouldn't have won our wars without spies!  Take a good look at this behaviour, and you'll understand that I had no choice.  This is MY empire.  The Barford empire.

My coat of arms will have me digging a corpse to be gawked at, whilst Yates fondles my testicles.  Infact, I'm going to have to do a Barford just thinking about it!

I have become Archaeology man!

I told those damn tekkies I would have my revenge!  MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

I'll swoop down from the trees as a metal detectorist finds a piece of treasure, and shout "TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT THIS BEHAVIOUR!' at them, until they bow down to my infinite knowledge.

This also gives me the opportunity to distance myself from that damn PHD I failed!  Ha!  No-one will question Archaeology man!

Other archeoloooggists like Donna Yates will wet their knickers as they see me swoop to a site, and register evidence correctly.  I'll become a hero!

Nigel swift will have a little shrine made for me in his bedroom.  This is going to be brilliant! FINALLY, I will be accepted by my peers...

I'll pull the PAS apart piece by piece with my bare hands.  I'll dig up peoples graves so people can gawp at them in museums.  The children will ask:  'Daddy?  How is it we can look upon these deceased people dug violently from their graves?  What Angel has allowed this?'

And he will reply...

Archeology Man, my Son.  Archeology man.

I'll relight my love life with Mrs Barford, dressed in my Archeology suit of saving.  She'll not be able to resist the digging might of Me, Archeology man!

I've warned you metal detectorists.  Over and over.  How dare you gather more historical evidence than me.  How dare you.  Now...the time has come...

Paul Barford

P.S Has anyone got any red tights they can lend me?  I split mine, bending down to pick up a biscuit.

Get rid of the PAS!

Down with this sort of thing!  Down with this behaviour!

The portable antiquities scheme is a complete waste of the UK taxpayers money.  Ahem, not that I live in the UK anymore...I chose to come to a much more spiffing place (where Areheaolgoygyg PHD's are a lot easier to get)

Anyway!  Waste of money.  How dare they set up a scheme that registers history, thus adding to the knowledge of UK history!  Delete it!

Take a good look at this behaviour.  How dare these metal detecting oafs find more related history than the purist archchchelellly community.  How dare they be more productive than us.  They don't even have a fake PHD!  Sorry, I mean PHD....!

The PAS close to a million objects found!

This is an obvious waste of the taxpayers money!  How dare they!  Take a good look at this behaviour...




http://finds.org.uk/database

One million objects saved from the earth, and registered thus adding to our knowledge of history.  How dare they!  Any person can pick up a metal detector and do this!  Even the public are invited to register their finds, without a metal detector!

I haven't failed my PHD in Archeaoaolalaolagy numerous times for any old person to go and find more stuff than me! THIS ISN'T FAIR!  Take a good look at this behaviour, as I will have my revenge portable antiquities scheme, or the 'PAS' to the illiterate.

Im so frustrated, Im going to go squeeze a bollock at Donna Yates.

Paul Barford.