Nigel Swift hides in bushes?!

Since I have infact been found out to actually BE Nigel swift, and also run the Heritage Action blog, I am disgusted to find that someone has spotted me hiding in the bushes...

I was only observing the Archaeological process!  Honestly!  I had my trousers on and everything!

Anyway, how dare you!  Do you know who I am? I can sit in any bush I like.

Especially those really warm ones outside schools.

Merry Christmas to my fellow archealoologists!

Especially, you Donna Yates.

And of course, a happy New year...

...Unless you're a Metal Detectorist.  You can stay out in the cold, whilst I quaf Mince pies, rubbing myself with French odour that Mrs Barford will no doubt buy me again.  Along with socks and pants that have a picture of metal detecting with a big cross through it.  I love them.

Stay out there in the cold, like the disgusting creatures you are.  There will be NO festive cheer for you sad, pathetic losers.  How dare you!

Take a good look at this behavior!  It's people like these who are a burden on the taxpayers pocket.  Not that I pay tax.  That's why I moved to Poland.  Why should I pay tax!?  I'm rich!  Tax is for the underclass.  Stay out there in the cold, in the swill like the pigs you are!

Next year...will be my year.  THIS will be the year that archahahly man will serve his justice.  THIS will be the year that I finally pass that archaelelogy degree!  THIS will be the year that I destroy the PAS and metal detecting once and for all.

Pass me a towel, Nigel.  I'm getting rather moist.

PAUL BARFORD IS NOT A FASCIST!

Fascist Barford!?  PAH!

And neither is Nigel Swift!

(Please don't mention the fact we are actually the same person)


Some foolish creature, probably a dirty un-educated metal detectorist, has said this on one of my other blogs:

This article is written under the paradigm of intellectual superiority or elevated legitimacy of officialdom over the freedom of people to collect artefacts from the land in which they live. Your attitude is by definition a fascist approach to the views and freedoms of others and I’m sure would be laughable to the average Celt/Saxon/Briton although you might have enjoyed support from a few Romans – Caligula, Nero or similar egomaniac! 

fascism: Noun ……………………. authoritarian, or intolerant views or practice.

Take a good look at this behaviour, as this is what the British public are wasting their money on! Foolhardy opinion such as this bucket of tripe!  How dare you!  Do you know who I am?!  I am PAUL BARFORD, ARCHHCHCHELLLGY MAN!  My sidekick NIGEL SWIFT will not be spoken to like this, either!

If you had any understanding in that tiny pellet of a brain you have, then you may eventually come to the conclusion that, we are the educated ones.  Therefore, we know best.  It's not a matter of Fascism, it's a matter of superiority through education.  Knowledge (Google) is power, and we hold ALL the power, Sonny!

I know, I know, you are going to mention the fact that I keep on failing that damned Arcchcllyyggyl degree, but I am educated in other areas.  My O level in home economics alone is enough to crush your puny knowledge.  Mummy was very proud of lil Pauly when I got that.  Oh, and Google of course. Love Google.

The conclusion is this:  Sit down, shut up and listen to our correct opinion.  Fascism?  You don't know the meaning of the word!

Paul Barford.

Heritage action & Paul Barford

Uh oh.  The cats out of the bag.

It's long been known that I love to create multiple aliases online.  This gives me the absolute opportunity to dish out Archeo-punishment in multiple places, at multiple times!  I'm a man one man army, me, and I told you that you should keep an eye on Archeology man, didn't I?  It's not my fault that you don't have the intelligence to understand my simple commands.

Fools!

However, it seems that someone has clocked onto the fact that Nigel Swift of Heritage action, and I are in actual fact the same person.  Damn.  There's no way I can get out of this one, either.  It's watertight.

Ummm....

I'm going to have to give Donna yates a ring I think.  She'll know what to do.  She's the Queen of multiple identities.

Some of you may think it's cowardly that I create dozens of identities, create blogs, and spy on forums!  Pah!  We wouldn't have won our wars without spies!  Take a good look at this behaviour, and you'll understand that I had no choice.  This is MY empire.  The Barford empire.

My coat of arms will have me digging a corpse to be gawked at, whilst Yates fondles my testicles.  Infact, I'm going to have to do a Barford just thinking about it!