Friday, 12 September 2014

I have become Archaeology man!

I told those damn tekkies I would have my revenge!  MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

I'll swoop down from the trees as a metal detectorist finds a piece of treasure, and shout "TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT THIS BEHAVIOUR!' at them, until they bow down to my infinite knowledge.

This also gives me the opportunity to distance myself from that damn PHD I failed!  Ha!  No-one will question Archaeology man!

Other archeoloooggists like Donna Yates will wet their knickers as they see me swoop to a site, and register evidence correctly.  I'll become a hero!

Nigel swift will have a little shrine made for me in his bedroom.  This is going to be brilliant! FINALLY, I will be accepted by my peers...

I'll pull the PAS apart piece by piece with my bare hands.  I'll dig up peoples graves so people can gawp at them in museums.  The children will ask:  'Daddy?  How is it we can look upon these deceased people dug violently from their graves?  What Angel has allowed this?'

And he will reply...

Archeology Man, my Son.  Archeology man.

I'll relight my love life with Mrs Barford, dressed in my Archeology suit of saving.  She'll not be able to resist the digging might of Me, Archeology man!

I've warned you metal detectorists.  Over and over.  How dare you gather more historical evidence than me.  How dare you.  Now...the time has come...

Paul Barford

P.S Has anyone got any red tights they can lend me?  I split mine, bending down to pick up a biscuit.



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